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About Deviant Premium Member nickyUnknown Groups :iconbefore-i-wake: before-i-wake
all are welcome in wonderland.
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[Streaming: Don't Starve! - Tipsy Wendy RoG] 

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mushroom free avatar by KillerYumi

A change of pace. A great change of pace.

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 29, 2014, 12:46 AM
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Hey guys, Nicky here! So here's the DL on what's gonna be going on from now on. It's probably gonna be a little long, so I'll stick a TLDR for you at the bottom of this here-dang journal.

I had a really, really rough day today. As a lot of you already know, I've been slammedsick with mono. Basically I've spent the last month in my apartment moping and, well, feeling sick. Basically I entered my quarter-life-crisis. I thought to myself "This is so not what I want to be doing with my life right now." Basically I let my lifelong depression swallow me up and I just let myself sink and sink. Yes! I should mention (I'm not sure if I have before) that I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD, (when I was a wee lass and again a few years ago) depression, and anxiety. I've been AGONIZING over the idea that I need to CHANGE. I've been just barely passing classes by the skin of my teeth because I simply don;t try hard enough. This is why I had to switch from studying something I was mildly passionate about (Psychology) to something I'm not really all that passionate about (Philosophy). But in this, I've still learned SO much these past few months. 

I sit back and look at all the projects I've let die because I just slap myself saying "damn it, I can do better than this!" but not actually allowing that to help GUIDE me rather than paralyze me. I've always moped over my mistakes instead of goddamn learning from them and making sure I don't screw up again. I'm tired of it, I am so tired of it.

So in respect to my art, I am going to go through with this fucking Nuzlocke comic. I'm tired of not keeping my promises in regards to these silly projects I make. (Heart Gold is going to especially suck because it's 16 badges FUUU) but I'm going to goddamn do it, just as I am going to goddamn do my work and do it the best I can. If I want to actually make it somewhere in the artworld, have a great impact and inspire people, then I'm gonna goddamn push. I'm going to do it, I can't not do it. And that's all it takes is that decision.

Well, that and HabitRPG, /r/getmotivated,  /r/decidingtobebetter, and having a fucking awesome and supportive group of people (you guys!) to back me up and encourage me to grow definitely had something to do with it. 

I love you guys, I really do. I'm going to do this shit for you and hope I make it original and fun enough that it'll rival the fun we had with Dyssomnia. If I die early, I'll just make another character or something, until it becomes excruciatingly not-fun anymore. As for Dyssomnia, I'm at a moment where I'm all smiley and like "we'll see how it goes." If I were to work on it again, I'm definitely going to try a new angle. It was to experiment with a certain comic style where I learned a lot of things to do and to not do. I'll make it even better this next round.. but first, let's tackle this Nuzlocke shit and kick all kinds of ass :heart:

TLDR; Finally after 23 years on this earth, I've finally decided it's time to grow up and start working harder than I ever have so I can inspire people with my art - and I have all of you to thank for it. I'll start with kicking ass this semester and promising to all of you I am not going to give up on this Nuzlocke thing. I will finish, and it will be glorious. 

Thank you guys, I love you. Let's do this :heart:



what do we say to the god of death? - "not today."

  • Mood: Noble

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nicky


dime todo lo que pasó
no me di cuenta ni quién me pegó
todo da vueltas como un carrusel
¡LOCURA RECORRE TODITA MI PIEL!


Doctor Lovecraft by tickets

23 | ♀ | ♐︎ | ᴇɴғᴘ
ɢʀʏғғɪɴᴅᴏʀ | sᴇᴇʀ ᴏғ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ | ᴘʀᴏsᴘɪᴛ | ʜᴏᴜsᴇ ᴛʏʀᴇʟʟ | ᴄʀᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

slakoth★ - 200 eggs 4.16.14 - ONGOING

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:iconnarnla:
NARNlA Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*CHOKES*

WHaT

ohh my o.o

THANK YOU FOR THE WATCH WOW :'D ahh my god <333
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:icontheseweirdfishes:
TheseWeirdFishes Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Heeey Tickets how're you doing? <3
I just thought of you so I thought I'd drop by and say Hi 8D
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:iconalonsoespinoza:
AlonsoEspinoza Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the favs!
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gourger Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the add
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